Right now I should be writing a dissertation, but my good friend procrastination has decided to take me swiftly by the hand and lead me into a world of endless YouTube video watching, Facebook trawling, and tweeting.
There are several reasons as to why I procrastinate.
1. To stick a middle finger up to society. No, I will not comply to the rules and regulations. Society, stop trying to take away my free will. I am an independent woman, shouldn't I be spending time trying to communicate with my inner self like Julia Roberts in Eat Pray Love? Shouldn't I be meditating in a barn somewhere, claiming I'm 'getting back to nature' and 'finding my inner calm'? I would quite happily take part in a hard-core tai-chi lesson on the top of a hill if it meant avoiding my dissertation.
2. Because suddenly tidying my room and organising my clothes into a coloured tonal spread in my wardrobe suddenly seems a lot more appealing. I mean, its life skills. Aren't I supposed to have a de-cluttered work space to help my creativity/motivation flow seamlessly on to the word document that currently has a word count of 0?
3. My favourite TV programme just happens to be on the telly and if I miss it I will probably have some kind of nervous breakdown about being behind in society and on the twitterverse. Also if I don't watch the TV programme, I will have to force myself to avoid twitter, as it will probably be trending, and I will find out the ending which will take away my ultimate enjoyment of the programme. And I don't want to avoid twitter. I am officially a Tweek. Is that an official term yet? Who cares, I'll make it one. Get your Tweek on.
4. Dissertation is boring. Therefore my quality of life goes dooooowwwwwn. Is that not compatible with religious/utilitarian/humanist/MY views?
5. I just can't be fucked.
I probably ought to get back to my dissertation now.