Everyone has experienced it. A long stretch of days where all that faces you are hours of facebook scrolling, shit film watching, and, let's face it, eating. At the moment I'm on my university christmas break, and unfortunately, I seemed to have picked the university with the longest holiday imaginable. I am quite literally left alone as all my friends gallop back to their respective institutions only a few days into January, whereas I am here until the 26th. In order to stop myself from going completely insane, I have compiled a list of things to do that will hopefully cure the vegetative state I seem to have got myself into. So, if you're bored, try one (or all) of these three things:
1. Learn a rap to a song
Yes it seems ridiculous and you probably will FEEL ridiculous having to bring up the lyrics of your chosen song on your computer and helplessly stumble along trying to keep up with the likes of Jay-Z or Kanye. Initially, the sounds you'll make will not sound like words at all, more like you've got a mouth full of marshmallows, and sometimes you'll find yourself questioning the very structure of the 'sentence' you're trying to memorise. But, if you can get through that, and you're not found in your darkened room by your mother attempting to swear like a trooper, then honestly, I couldn't think of a better use of spare time. Think of the benefits. Whenever that song comes on at a party, or in a club, you will feel euphoric. Just think, when the opening bars play, 'THIS IS MY JAM'. Or, depending on alcohol consumption, you may just scream it out like a madman. When you can accurately and professionally rap along to a song, you WILL feel like Jesus. Trust me, being able to accurately scream every lyric to 'N***as in Paris' with accompanying hand actions in a club has personally been a life highlight.
2. eBay
I'm not sure if eBay is a curse or a blessing. Although I have managed to grab some great bargains (Holla a top for £1.50 anyone?), the bidding process is more than stressful. In the space of a micro-second you can go from winning a bid to being outbidded by some aresholes who think its fun to raise the price of an item to £10.00 (Plus postage, no thank you), on a top that would have been a great wardrobe staple. As a student trying to scavenge for a bargain on eBay, £10.00 for a top does not make me a happy bunny. Yet, when you do win a bid, it is a euphoric feeling and makes you want to scavenge for more items that you're not even sure you really need. Either way, eBay is great for a bargain and time wasting (but also potentially money wasting). Happy bidding.
3. Find the exercise channel
If you're a potato like me then finding the exercise channel could take up to a whole day if you really put your mind to it. But, if you do manage to find it, it is either a God send for those who can't be bothered to leave the house but who actually want to exercise (if such a person exists, somebody please let me know) or Hell on earth for those who try it after not exercising in months. For example, my first brush with the exercise channel involved an annoying man called Pierre telling me to squat for twenty seconds while he shouted at me through my television screen, which apparently, was meant to be motivational. Sorry Pierre, but while you were standing there doing nothing, my pyjama bottoms were on the verge of ripping while you forced me to do some insane exercises that no man or woman should ever have to endure. Having said that, it is probably best to do exercise in proper exercise gear and not straight after eating breakfast, in your dressing gown, and in full view of the neighbours as they pass by your living room window with shocked expressions on their faces. But either way, it got me moving, and in my books, that is definitely progress.
An optional fourth is to try and make a list of things to do when you're bored. Oh dear.
Friday, 11 January 2013
Tuesday, 6 March 2012
Me being arty.
I'm going to bore you with photos, because, if I'm honest, it makes my blog look prettier.
If you're reading this you're procrastinating.
Right now I should be writing a dissertation, but my good friend procrastination has decided to take me swiftly by the hand and lead me into a world of endless YouTube video watching, Facebook trawling, and tweeting.
There are several reasons as to why I procrastinate.
1. To stick a middle finger up to society. No, I will not comply to the rules and regulations. Society, stop trying to take away my free will. I am an independent woman, shouldn't I be spending time trying to communicate with my inner self like Julia Roberts in Eat Pray Love? Shouldn't I be meditating in a barn somewhere, claiming I'm 'getting back to nature' and 'finding my inner calm'? I would quite happily take part in a hard-core tai-chi lesson on the top of a hill if it meant avoiding my dissertation.
2. Because suddenly tidying my room and organising my clothes into a coloured tonal spread in my wardrobe suddenly seems a lot more appealing. I mean, its life skills. Aren't I supposed to have a de-cluttered work space to help my creativity/motivation flow seamlessly on to the word document that currently has a word count of 0?
3. My favourite TV programme just happens to be on the telly and if I miss it I will probably have some kind of nervous breakdown about being behind in society and on the twitterverse. Also if I don't watch the TV programme, I will have to force myself to avoid twitter, as it will probably be trending, and I will find out the ending which will take away my ultimate enjoyment of the programme. And I don't want to avoid twitter. I am officially a Tweek. Is that an official term yet? Who cares, I'll make it one. Get your Tweek on.
4. Dissertation is boring. Therefore my quality of life goes dooooowwwwwn. Is that not compatible with religious/utilitarian/humanist/MY views?
5. I just can't be fucked.
I probably ought to get back to my dissertation now.
There are several reasons as to why I procrastinate.
1. To stick a middle finger up to society. No, I will not comply to the rules and regulations. Society, stop trying to take away my free will. I am an independent woman, shouldn't I be spending time trying to communicate with my inner self like Julia Roberts in Eat Pray Love? Shouldn't I be meditating in a barn somewhere, claiming I'm 'getting back to nature' and 'finding my inner calm'? I would quite happily take part in a hard-core tai-chi lesson on the top of a hill if it meant avoiding my dissertation.
2. Because suddenly tidying my room and organising my clothes into a coloured tonal spread in my wardrobe suddenly seems a lot more appealing. I mean, its life skills. Aren't I supposed to have a de-cluttered work space to help my creativity/motivation flow seamlessly on to the word document that currently has a word count of 0?
3. My favourite TV programme just happens to be on the telly and if I miss it I will probably have some kind of nervous breakdown about being behind in society and on the twitterverse. Also if I don't watch the TV programme, I will have to force myself to avoid twitter, as it will probably be trending, and I will find out the ending which will take away my ultimate enjoyment of the programme. And I don't want to avoid twitter. I am officially a Tweek. Is that an official term yet? Who cares, I'll make it one. Get your Tweek on.
4. Dissertation is boring. Therefore my quality of life goes dooooowwwwwn. Is that not compatible with religious/utilitarian/humanist/MY views?
5. I just can't be fucked.
I probably ought to get back to my dissertation now.
Monday, 26 December 2011
Merry Christmas and that
I hope you had a good Christmas and you have a happy new year.
May the year ahead be filled with rainbows, sunshine and happy times. DARE TO DREAM or whatever.
Okay now we've got that out of the way, I thought I'd take this opportunity to eventually upload some of of my photos and show off my new camera lens - Canon f1.8 !
There. Merry Christmas.
Sunday, 4 December 2011
The art of slyly meandering your way to the front at a concert
Last night, I went to see Coldplay. It was incredible. There was confetti, balloons, light-up wristbands, lasers, and of course Chris Martin and the gang, who at one point, were no more than a mere three metres away from me. Exhibit:
And there's a pretty picture of some confetti.
As you can see, I was in a pretty good spot at the end of the walkway, however, to my surprise, gaining this position wasn't down to waiting for hours and hours in the freezing cold. Even if you arrive a little later than others, say, 15 minutes after the doors open, it is still perfectly possible to get a good position, if you play your cards right.
1. Try and look as young as possible. For me, wearing glasses and tucking my hair behind my ears allowed me to play the part of the vulnerable teen girl. Yes, it did make me more of a target for rapists. But, when attempting to make my way through the crowd by sweetly saying "sorry, excuse me", I was faced with less aggression than say, the loud middle aged woman with sun-transition glasses.
2. Always attack the crowd from the side. People will not move if you try and work your way up to the front. Go for the side and squeeze through the gaps in a line. Move swiftly and efficiently.
3. Talk very loudly on your mobile phone. People will be glad to let you through to stop the verbal diarrhea.
4. Pretend you are looking for someone "over there". For me and my troops, we actually WERE looking for a few friends, and had the advantage of being able to see and wave to each other, making our case for moving forward in the crowd valid. If in doubt, combine steps 2, 3 and 4 and move through the crowd talking to whoever you are trying to find very loudly on your phone. This triple-point tactic is always a winner.
5. Once you have your prime spot, stay rooted. Don't let someone purposely breathing very heavily on your right shoulder make you move. This happened to me, it was not pleasant.
Bear in mind, these tactics will not guarantee you a place right at the front, but a good place all the same. Also, if you are in a crowd, make sure you are hydrated. Last night, I was a keen bean and refrained from drinking fluids so that a toilet break would not be necessary. I ended up almost fainting at the beginning of Charlie Brown. I would like to clarify this was not because I am an insane fan and was overcome with emotion. STAY HYDRATED.
Sunday, 2 October 2011
Five things that will make your life complete
There are lots of small things in life which just make every day that extra little bit more awesome. Here is my extensive list of these extra fabby dabby things that continue to grace my life with happiness.
Number One: a Waltzer ride.
If you have not experienced the thrill of a Waltzer ride at a fairground I urge you to POP ON AND HAVE A SPIN. You will not regret it.
For those of you that have had deprived childhoods, here is a Waltzer.
Waltzers are quite simply beautiful. Picture the spinning teacups, take them and put them on a moving up and down platform, add several crazy lights including a blinding strobe, some bangin' beats blaring at top volume, and there you have the greatest invention known to man. An added bonus is watching your pal's strained facial expressions as they grip onto the safety bar for dear life, looking like they are having a minor stroke as they are hurled round at life-threatening speeds. Well, life threatening for a Waltzer. Regardless, the Waltzer is a blur of lights, thumping bass lines, euphoric screams, and of course, a shaky disposition when you get off.
Number Two : A good cup of tea
Few things come close to a caffeine-filled concoction of a good golden brew. Having a cup of tea is not merely an action of survival to keep your bodily fluids topped up - having a cup of tea is a personal, suspended moment in time. The brew teases you as you slowly stir in the milk, watching the two substances collide, creating a magical compound of pure bliss and sanctuary. Then, once it's ready and has been tailored to your perfect colour, there is simply nothing more satisfying than taking the steaming cup of tea to your lips, swallowing the golden liquid and feeling the warm substance filtering through your body. At that moment, it is perfectly acceptable to make an "Ooooaaaaaaaaft" noise to show your appreciation for the tea. Worship the tea. Tea is life.
Number Three : Going absolutely insane to your favourite song in the privacy of your own home.
We all need a moment or two to let off inner frustrations. Acting like a total nutcase to what you consider to be the best song in the universe complete with a hairbrush or air guitar while genuinely believing you're at Wembley Arena, well, its a pretty good way to release any pent up energy. Of course this act takes place whenever one has a free house to enable maximum space and potential, and also to avoid any embarrassing collisions with other human beings, who may think you're having some kind of epileptic fit. Also, by being alone, you have absolutely no shame. If standing on the kitchen counter holding your cat up to the sky while singing "Circle of Life" floats your boat, then hoist that sail. Or if you fancy jumping on the sofa to a bit of ABBA, or Bohemium Rhapsody, well, don't break the sofa.
Number Four : Appreciating the Bed.
My philosophy is that my bed is my best friend. Your bed is always there to welcome you when you're about to drop dead from exhaustion, or have had a shit day and need to collapse in a dramatic manner crying out "WHY!?" while pretending you're in some sort of god-forsaken teen movie. The bed will never reject you, but will wrap you up in its cosy feathery warmth, much like a mother, and soothe you, as if it is going "there there, settle down love". You can kick and punch and beat the bed all you like when you're having a tantrum, and the bed will always welcome you back with open arms. You can sob into the bed, or jump on it up and down with great happiness, but the bed will never complain. I appreciate the bed. You should appreciate the bed. But don't break the bed. The bed won't be happy if you do.
Number Five : This man:
Number One: a Waltzer ride.
If you have not experienced the thrill of a Waltzer ride at a fairground I urge you to POP ON AND HAVE A SPIN. You will not regret it.
For those of you that have had deprived childhoods, here is a Waltzer.
Waltzers are quite simply beautiful. Picture the spinning teacups, take them and put them on a moving up and down platform, add several crazy lights including a blinding strobe, some bangin' beats blaring at top volume, and there you have the greatest invention known to man. An added bonus is watching your pal's strained facial expressions as they grip onto the safety bar for dear life, looking like they are having a minor stroke as they are hurled round at life-threatening speeds. Well, life threatening for a Waltzer. Regardless, the Waltzer is a blur of lights, thumping bass lines, euphoric screams, and of course, a shaky disposition when you get off.
Number Two : A good cup of tea
Few things come close to a caffeine-filled concoction of a good golden brew. Having a cup of tea is not merely an action of survival to keep your bodily fluids topped up - having a cup of tea is a personal, suspended moment in time. The brew teases you as you slowly stir in the milk, watching the two substances collide, creating a magical compound of pure bliss and sanctuary. Then, once it's ready and has been tailored to your perfect colour, there is simply nothing more satisfying than taking the steaming cup of tea to your lips, swallowing the golden liquid and feeling the warm substance filtering through your body. At that moment, it is perfectly acceptable to make an "Ooooaaaaaaaaft" noise to show your appreciation for the tea. Worship the tea. Tea is life.
Number Three : Going absolutely insane to your favourite song in the privacy of your own home.
We all need a moment or two to let off inner frustrations. Acting like a total nutcase to what you consider to be the best song in the universe complete with a hairbrush or air guitar while genuinely believing you're at Wembley Arena, well, its a pretty good way to release any pent up energy. Of course this act takes place whenever one has a free house to enable maximum space and potential, and also to avoid any embarrassing collisions with other human beings, who may think you're having some kind of epileptic fit. Also, by being alone, you have absolutely no shame. If standing on the kitchen counter holding your cat up to the sky while singing "Circle of Life" floats your boat, then hoist that sail. Or if you fancy jumping on the sofa to a bit of ABBA, or Bohemium Rhapsody, well, don't break the sofa.
Number Four : Appreciating the Bed.
My philosophy is that my bed is my best friend. Your bed is always there to welcome you when you're about to drop dead from exhaustion, or have had a shit day and need to collapse in a dramatic manner crying out "WHY!?" while pretending you're in some sort of god-forsaken teen movie. The bed will never reject you, but will wrap you up in its cosy feathery warmth, much like a mother, and soothe you, as if it is going "there there, settle down love". You can kick and punch and beat the bed all you like when you're having a tantrum, and the bed will always welcome you back with open arms. You can sob into the bed, or jump on it up and down with great happiness, but the bed will never complain. I appreciate the bed. You should appreciate the bed. But don't break the bed. The bed won't be happy if you do.
Number Five : This man:
Need I say more.
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